I’m a card-carrying member of many exclusive clubs: Costco Executive, AAA, NAACP, Church of the SubGenius, and Mensa. Amazon Associates is so secretive that they don’t even give out cards. Lucky for you, I’m a member. I recently discovered this gives me access to special promo codes for deals on all sorts of products I’ll […]
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Hey Kids, helmets are cool. I see a lot of you out there riding your bicycles with your helmet hanging from your handlebars. That makes you look like a Grade-A moron. Trust me. I know. A couple months ago, I was skating in a parade with a bunch of my roller derby friends. I didn’t […]
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Erin Brains of the Brains Report really needed her own computer. I would send stuff for her to edit, and she would be forced by her cruel taskmaster to do her work on her phone. Plus, sometimes she just wants to get away from the family and re-watch her stories (Games of Throne, America’s Next […]
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know that social media is the end of the world and a waste of time, blah blah blah, etc. But, we need to let those privileged white dudes know how wrong they are. Or, we have to troll those social justice warriors. We must spam the comments section of a […]
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I’m the kind of guy who enjoys the finer things in life: I drink mail-order wine, I make sushi, and I only listen to music that nobody has ever heard of. The problem is I don’t like paying for anything. Most of our furniture ended up in our possession without any money changing hands. And, […]
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Yesterday, we received a “Help Me Choose” request from a fella looking to trick out his kids’ ride with battery-powered Christmas lights. He wanted to facilitate their joy by adding inexpensive lights (between $10 and $20) to their Peg Perego John Deere Gator XUV. We immediately went to work helping this fine gentleman. And, after […]
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I might be the only dumb dumb who didn’t know that Amazon has coupons. Someone brought it up to me the other day, and I thought they were crazy. I feel kind of bad because I said something along the lines of “sure, I’ll just go ahead and cut the coupons out of my computer […]
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In mid-September, I went to work in my home office like I do every day. But, this day was different from the others. The internet wasn’t working. There was horror in my eyes and gnashing of my teeth. I tore at my clothes. The signal from our router (a Linksys EA6350) had been declining for […]
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I don’t get invited into many private homes. And, almost no one lets me spend the night. Recently, I suckered a poor couple with an infant into letting me in their house. When I showed up, I realized I didn’t have a gift to give them. I felt like a Grade-A moron. Well, it turns […]
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Brains Report has already covered that you need to save up $1,000 right now in case of an emergency. And, we’ve given you the resources to create a budget and get out of debt. Now that you have meticulously followed our instructions, what’s next? Simple: you need to bulk up your emergency savings so that […]
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