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Q: How do I access BrainsReport.com?
A: First, you need to start a fire. Above the fire, suspend a fireproof receptacle holding water. At the mouth of the receptacle, you will need a turbine that can spin easily as the steam from the boiling water hits it. Use a copper wire to somehow turn the turbine’s kinetic energy into electricity. Use this electricity to power your laptop as you sit at a local coffee shop with free Wi-Fi. Download an internet browser: I use Chrome. In the address bar of the browser, type in “brainsreport.com” and press Enter. This should take you to BrainsReport.com. Do NOT forget to thoroughly douse your fire after you are done.