It’s a wondrous time we live in. You have the whole world (wide web) in your pocket. Life expectancies are reaching biblical levels. And, you can get all the calories you need for the day by just driving through a fast food establishment (though, I wouldn’t recommend it).

Of course, humanity’s greatest advances do not stop there. Nope, our ingenuity just kept going and gave us the following time and life-saving products:

Mattress Toppers

Memory Foam Solutions

According to Brains Reports’ Department of Nonsense Statistics, the average American spends four hours twisting and turning in bed as they try to remember if they sleep on their back, side, or face. With a good gel-infused memory foam mattress topper, it doesn’t matter. Once you lay down, you’ll instantly be whisked away to comfort country. Every position will be your best sleeping position as your body lies there unconscious and bleeding. Wait, you won’t be bleeding. Hopefully.

Shoe Dryers

Peet Dryer

In the Pacific Northwest, from where I am writing this, we are entering the rainy season. This is the seven or nine months out of the year when it just rains…nonstop. Nothing is worse than putting on wet boots, shoes, socks, slippers, or sandals. Fortunately, our nation’s best minds have created the shoe dryer, which not only dries your boots, but it also keeps them from getting stinky and ensures they last for years to come. Check out the PEET Dryer – Original 2-Shoe Electric Shoe and Boot Dryer on Amazon.

Sous Vides


Are you one of those people who has a refined palate and enjoys the finer things in life? Then, you need what the French would call a “sous vide machine.” This is a bath for your dinner, but it’s the kind of bath where someone is dead, cooked, and eaten. When you choose a smart sous vide and rig it up with a cooler (a setup mansplained in my review of sous vide machines), you can have a hot, flavorful dinner awaiting you when you get home for dinner each night.

Handheld Steamers


Everyone is judging you. They are especially concerned about what you look like. If you have wrinkles in your suit, you can forget about ever progressing in life. This is why you need a handheld steamer. These lightweight, affordable, and easy-to-use devices can go with you anywhere. Take it with you on your next date and steam away the wrinkles when you get up from the table. Never let them see your wrinkles! Buy the Tenswall Portable Garment Steamer on Amazon.

Instant Pots

Power Pressure Cooker XL

The Instant Pot Corporation has so dominated the electric pressure cooker market that the appliance is simply known as an instant pot now. Regardless, electric pressure cookers have quickly become a mainstay in American households because of their many varied uses, including steaming vegetables, slow cooking, sautéing, cooking rice, making yogurt, canning, and more. Plus, you can cook giant slabs of meat (the preferred amount of meat) in a short amount of time.

Portable Battery Chargers


Unless you absolutely never leave the house for more than an hour, a portable battery charger is a must. Do you ever see those desperate suckers searching for a place to plug in their phone charger? Doesn’t it make you sick for what mankind has become? Be a cool dude and charge your smartphone battery up to four times without having to recharge the charger. I recommend the Anker PowerCore 10000.

Espresso Machines


Are you a slave sucking at the nipple of Starbucks? Do you find that Mondays are the worst? And, if someone wants something from you before you have your coffee, do you freak out and yell “ACK!”? Then, get your own espresso machine and break the shackles that bind you to Starbucks! If you typically buy three $12 espresso drinks per day, the cheapest espresso maker on our list will pay for itself in one day.


Joy Bidet

Joy Bidet

Not everyone is into a jet of cold water being shot up their butt. That’s why they have bidets that have a warm water option. You no longer have to rub your nether regions raw with one-ply until you feel clean. I’m a real idiot, but I was able to figure out how to install the thing. I used real tools, which made me feel kind of manly as I shouted, “Yippee! Goodie! Yay!” Bidets are especially helpful for people with mobility issues. You can get the Joy Bidet on Amazon. I don’t recommend giving bidets as wedding presents.

Vacuum Sealers


When you vacuum seal stuff, it lasts for up to five times longer in your freezer. Plus, the meats, vegetables, cheeses (weirdo), and fruits your freeze don’t get freezer burnt and just plain taste better. Can you put a price on flavor? If you can, you will find that a vacuum sealer pays for itself within a month or two.



One of the very first things we purchased for our new house was a video projector. That’s really when you need to do it: when you move to a new place. Otherwise, you end up putting up boring family photos on all of the walls, and you don’t have a free wall for your binge-worthy viewing. Anyway, projectors give you huge video images at a fraction of the price of stupid flat-screen TVs. I recommend the WOWOTO H8 Video Projector.

What products have immensely improved your quality of life? Don’t keep it to yourself! Dish below!