Full disclosure: I wrote this book and earn royalties from its sale. Reviewing your own work is a conflict of interest, so I’m grading it harder than I’d grade a cold plunge. Still, if you appreciate all the free reviews I’ve provided for you over the years, please support our work (and independent media) by buying a copy of the new book.

How to Get Everything You Want for Free is my guide to how to get freebies, built on a lifetime of frugal living and nine years as a product reviewer receiving over $200,000 in free review units. It covers free food, freebies from brands and neighbors, the library, flipping what you don’t need, and the traps that cost people real money. My wife and Brains Report co-everything, Erin, weighs in throughout.

What it does well

The advice is specific. You get the exact pitch email I send PR reps, plus a template for people with zero followers.  You get my Facebook Marketplace pricing formula for success. There’s a list of birthday freebies, my verdict on which restaurant apps are worth the phone storage, and the cancel trick that can save you hundreds of dollars.

It’s honest about what free can really cost you, from your data and time to the poopocalypse from a free robot vacuum.

It’s also funny, IF you share my sense of humor.

Where it falls short

  • It’s short: At about 20,000 words, it’s an afternoon read.
  • The humor is crude: There’s a letter to Johnsonville about bratwurst that probably shouldn’t exist.
  • It founds a religion: Morlot, the spirit of abundance, appears on page one and takes over Chapter 9. You’ll love it or skim it.
  • Some tips require a following: Brand freebies come easier with an audience, though the book shows how to start without one.

Score: 83/100

  • Usefulness: 27/30
  • Credibility: 18/20
  • Humor: 16/20
  • Value: 13/15
  • Length: 9/15

Is it worth paying for?

The library chapter alone could save you the cover price. Or skip buying it and ask your library to order a copy. I won’t be offended, and neither would Morlot.

Buy it if you’re a frugal adult who wants real tactics and doesn’t mind a fart joke.

Skip it if you’re easily offended or already rich. The book tells you to put it down anyway.

How to Get Everything You Want for Free is available now on Kindle and in paperback.