I can’t pay full price for anything. It’s just not in my Dutch DNA. I’m constantly looking for the latest “hack” that allows me to save 5%, 10%, or even more on anything I was going to buy anyway. In my years of being a shrewd customer, I’ve discovered the following ways to get amazing […]
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I can’t watch the new season of a TV show without first going through every single old episode. Often times, I end up not even watching the new season. Anyway, this is not about my tragic flaws. This is about Curb Your Enthusiasm or, more like, Curb Your White Privilege, amirite? Anyway, in the first […]
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“Hey, Kid. Kid. Come here. Look inside of my trench coat here. Do you like what you see? That’s right: I have high-end facial products at a fraction of the price you’d pay at an authorized dealership.” Unfortunately, dealers of counterfeit wares these days do not approach you the same way they did before the […]
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What is a professional? As a baseball fan growing up, I had a clear definition of a professional. They were the guys in the big leagues. They got paid to do what they do. That’s what made them professionals. One day, my grandpa gave me a quarter to hit some grounders. From that day forward, […]
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A friend recently posed the ultimate career question: “How can you make money doing what you love?” My grandpa always said, “If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” He was a bartender. I don’t know how you can make money doing the specific activity you love. I don’t […]
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I’m a card-carrying member of many exclusive clubs: Costco Executive, AAA, NAACP, Church of the SubGenius, and Mensa. Amazon Associates is so secretive that they don’t even give out cards. Lucky for you, I’m a member. I recently discovered this gives me access to special promo codes for deals on all sorts of products I’ll […]
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Hey Kids, helmets are cool. I see a lot of you out there riding your bicycles with your helmet hanging from your handlebars. That makes you look like a Grade-A moron. Trust me. I know. A couple months ago, I was skating in a parade with a bunch of my roller derby friends. I didn’t […]
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Erin Brains of the Brains Report really needed her own computer. I would send stuff for her to edit, and she would be forced by her cruel taskmaster to do her work on her phone. Plus, sometimes she just wants to get away from the family and re-watch her stories (Games of Throne, America’s Next […]
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know that social media is the end of the world and a waste of time, blah blah blah, etc. But, we need to let those privileged white dudes know how wrong they are. Or, we have to troll those social justice warriors. We must spam the comments section of a […]
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I’m the kind of guy who enjoys the finer things in life: I drink mail-order wine, I make sushi, and I only listen to music that nobody has ever heard of. The problem is I don’t like paying for anything. Most of our furniture ended up in our possession without any money changing hands. And, […]
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