What are you going to be for Halloween? Erin decided she didn’t like any of the suggestions I came up with in this post. Instead, she’s teamed up with coworkers on some weird theme that I’m not allowed to tell you about that necessitates her dressing like a crocodile. After careful consideration, she decided she was man enough for the Smiffy’s Men’s Crocodile Costume All In One with Hood. Below, we will share our experience with this costume so far and give you a fun video to watch.

Smiffy’s Needs a New Tape Measure

With a dismal 53% expected fit rating on Amazon, Smiffy’s is terrible at measurements. I had never heard of Smiffy’s before Erin’s purchase, but it turns out they’ve been around since 1894 and have showrooms and offices all over the world. They are based in Lincolnshire in England, but they plan to move to the Netherlands because of Brexit. How bow dat, Britain? I bet you didn’t think of your Halloween costume industry when you thumbed your nose at the EU.

Anyway, just about all of the reviewers complained about their crocodile being too large. Erin was also surprised by the size of her “Size: Large” costume. She’s 5’9”, and you’ll have to watch the video to find out how much she weighs. I’m not about to go around telling people my wife’s weight.

In the product description, Smiffy’s says the outfit is 10” high and 10” wide. I have no idea what they are referencing because I measured every possible dimension of the outfit, and none of them were ten inches. They list the package dimensions as “1 x 1 x 1 inches,” but the video clearly shows this makes no sense. Still, I will cut them some slack. They’re British. Our American measurements probably confuse and anger them.

The Details

When you put on the crocodile costume, the first thing you notice is that the crotch comes down to your knees. This makes it impossible to ride bicycles or compete in the Olympics. However, it may be helpful for hiding the thunder of particularly well-endowed party-goers.

There are complaints of the costume being hot, but Erin noted that the material is paper thin, almost translucent. If you are in colder climates, you may appreciate the added warmth. And, much like my favorite John Waters movie, the costume is 100% polyester.

It took two days for the costume to arrive thanks to our Amazon Prime subscription. I recommend Prime members order by October 28th to ensure your costume arrives in time for the holiday. Of course, everyone knows the best parties are on the 27th and 28th, so you should probably just order now to be safe.

If you have questions about this product, please comment below. If you want to buy the Smiffy’s Men’s Crocodile Costume All In One with Hood, you can click the link in the first half of this sentence. And, if you would like to learn more or are looking for a good time, watch this video: